


if you were a chicken you'd be impeccable

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 18:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9778298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Sure," Jaemin replies, finally managing to sound halfway normal even though he’s sweating profusely and covered in sheet mask moisturizer.or, Donghyuck is evil but for once it works out in Jaemin's favor.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all, i really don't know what this is, it just happened
> 
> i lov this trio of gay bffs tho

"Okay- Donghyuck, this is getting borderline stalkerish."

 

Jaemin eyes his best friend squeezed in beside him on Jaemin’s twin bed; Donghyuck is stretched out on his stomach, sheet mask plastered to his face and hair held back with one of Jaemin’s headbands, scrolling through his cousin’s boyfriend’s instagram.

 

More specifically, scrolling through all the pictures of Tuesday’s basketball game that Johnny took of Mark on the court.

 

"Uhh, first of all it’s not stalking," Donghyuck retorts without glancing up from his current picture of Johnny with his arm slung around a sweaty Mark in his jersey post-game. Taeyong must have taken that one. "How was I supposed to know that Johnny-hyung is friends with Mark?"

 

He says it like he hadn't spent hours combing through all of Johnny’s social media when he’d found out that little fact. Jaemin rolls his eyes and adjusts his own headband, where a strand of hair had gotten loose and tacked onto his sticky mask.

 

"Second of all, you creep on Jeno’s snapchat story every night before bed so shut the fuck up."  

 

"He’s got a point," Renjun adds from where he’s curled up in the desk chair next to the bed, his knees drawn up to his chest and his phone resting on top of them. Jaemin’s other best friend has his bangs tied up and away from his mask, and he’d abandoned all his textbooks on Jaemin’s desk in favor of weibo long ago.

 

Jaemin doesn't appreciate being called out  in his own home though, so he slumps down with his laptop and glares. "Screw both of you."

 

"You can’t afford this," Donghyuck shoots back, wiggling his butt in the air until Jaemin kicks it. Unfazed, Donghyuck snickers. "But maybe Renjun’ll take you up on that-"

 

"I’m a pure and innocent child," Renjun says blithely as he taps his phone screen. "Don’t drag me into this."

 

Donghyuck snorts and Jaemin, feeling spiteful, says "You think I don’t remember when you said you’re saving yourself for yours and Mark’s wedding night?"

 

Laughter bursts out of Renjun; Donghyuck screams incoherently at the reminder of that infamous all-nighter they’d pulled before midterms.

 

"You can’t hold me accountable for what I said after like thirty hours of no sleep, _asshole_." Donghyuck pulls out the pillow he’s laying on and whacks a grinning Jaemin with it; he doesn't stop until he accidentally swings back too far and knocks Renjun’s bag of caramel corn puffs straight off the desk.

 

After helping pick up the scattered pieces of the snack, Donghyuck collapses back onto the bed with a sigh. “At least your love life isn't so depressing, Renjun. Gives me hope."

 

Renjun tilts his head in confusion, and Donghyuck elaborates. "I’ve seen you talking to that exchange student a lot lately. When were you gonna tell us about that, by the way? Have you made a move yet?"

 

Jaemin perks up with interest. "Wait wait, which one? Cute face, cute smile?"

 

Renjun’s brow furrows. "You mean Chenle? No, it’s not like that." Donghyuck boos, and Renjun shoots him an exasperated look. "I help him out with language stuff, that’s all. It’d be like asking out my little brother or something." he scrunches his nose up at the thought. "Plus he’s in the year below us."

 

Donghyuck heaves another big sigh. "Well thanks for nothing, Junnie," he grumbles, and Renjun tosses a pencil at him.

 

"Y’know, maybe you should just go for Jeno, since obviously Jaemin’s chicken ass is never gonna-"

 

"Look," Jaemin cuts in, "I’ve just been waiting for the right moment, okay? You can’t rush these things." he resolutely clicks another sweater into his shopping cart and refuses to look at Donghyuck.

 

"Excuse me, is it, is it you-" Donghyuck snatches Jaemin’s phone off the desk and pulls up the line app. "Oh yes, it is in fact you who’s friends with Jeno on line." Donghyuck waves the screen in front of Jaemin. "Literally any moment is the right moment!"

 

Jaemin pouts. "It’s not that easy-"

 

"Nana," Donghyuck interrupts. "It’s already been a month since that group project you did together. There’s a time limit on this opportunity! It’s festering and rotting and dying as we speak. You gotta do something if you want to get anywhere."

 

"Yeah, and maybe if you upped your flirting game past scathing insults you’d be somewhere with Mark right now," Jaemin snaps back. Donghyuck’s eyes narrow, and Jaemin realizes in that moment how much he just fucked up because the demon is still holding his phone.

 

"That’s it, I’m calling him," Donghyuck announces, and before Jaemin can even get the word don’t out of his mouth, Donghyuck taps the free call button under Jeno’s profile with lightning speed.

 

"You sonofabitch!" Jaemin screeches, launching himself at Donghyuck and making a mad grab for his phone. He snatches it and manages to knock Donghyuck off the bed at the same time. "I swear to fucking god I’m gonna-" he scrambles to cancel the call, only to see that it’s already been answered. Jaemin’s heart lurches his chest.

 

"Hello?" Jeno’s smooth, angelic voice can faintly be heard, and Jaemin dies a little inside; he’s suddenly trembling as he brings his phone to his ear in time to catch Jeno say "...Jaemin? Are you okay?"

 

"Um, yeah, I’m fine-" Jaemin claps his hand over the receiver quickly. " _I am going to murder you in your sleep_ ," he hisses to Donghyuck on the floor, who’s shaking with silent laughter. Renjun is watching wide-eyed, both hands over his mouth.

 

"It’s just, Donghyuck is an asshole and was messing around with my phone and called you- did I mention he’s an asshole?" Jaemin knows he’s on the verge of rambling and snaps his mouth shut. Jeno chuckles on the other end of the line, and- wow. Is Jaemin melting a little? Yes.

 

"So that’s what it was. I was wondering why you were calling me suddenly." Jeno sounds relaxed, easy, and Jaemin tells himself to get a freaking grip before he has a heart attack.

 

"Yeah, sorry about this- sorry about disturbing you so late." Jaemin shifts, only vaguely aware of his phone screen getting slick and slimy with the moisturizer from his mask. He blocks out any and all noise Donghyuck is making behind him.

 

"No, it’s totally okay. I’m just on my way home now."

 

Jaemin thinks he blacks out for the next little bit of their conversation, because the next thing he registers Jeno saying is "Somehow I ended up with all your notes and I forgot to give them back. I know the project’s already over, but I thought you might want them."

 

"Sure," Jaemin replies, finally managing to sound halfway normal even though he’s sweating profusely and covered in sheet mask moisturizer. He’s also kind of numb from the neck down.

 

"How about we meet up at lunch tomorrow?  I can give them to you then," Jeno offers. He’s a real, actual prince. Jaemin wants to scream. "Sounds great," he replies instead.

 

When he hangs up, Jaemin sits there in the the pressing silence for a long moment, phone limp in his hand. Donghyuck is peeking over the mattress, and both he and Renjun are staring at Jaemin with their mouths hanging open.

 

"You’re in, holy fuck," Donghyuck whispers. "Oh my god oh my _god_ ," Renjun mutters behind him. Jaemin feels dizzy.

 

"Dude, you did it!" Donghyuck recovers his volume, shooting up from the floor. All of the sudden Renjun is leaping over to bounce next to Jaemin, cheering and shaking him, and Jaemin can’t believe he actually just had that conversation. That was a thing that happened. He’s meeting up with Jeno tomorrow.

 

"Oh my god, Jeno sits with Mark at lunch." Donghyuck clambers onto the bed beside Renjun. "I’m coming with you tomorrow, Nana. You have to take me with you."

 

Jaemin snaps back to himself enough to give Donghyuck a sidelong glance. "I’m sorry, who are you? I don’t know a Donghyuck," he says airily, wiping his sticky hands on his sweatpants. He’s not about to let Donghyuck off scott-free.

 

"Aw, c’mon!" Donghyuck whines. He has to work his sad puppy eyes from the end of the bed since Renjun has scooted in to sit next to Jaemin. "I know that was a jerk move, but it worked, didn't it?"

 

"Shocking everyone," Renjun says.

 

Donghyuck tries again. "Look, because of this he asked _you_ to meet up with _him_!" Donghyuck shakes Jaemin’s leg for emphasis. "You! Are getting together with Jeno! Live and in person! On his request! Are you getting this?"

 

Jaemin can’t keep the huge, giddy grin off his face any longer. "Yeah. I got it."

 

They break out the stash of sodas in celebration.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i might continue if i have the time and motivation?? but it's staying a oneshot for now


End file.
